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The Bingo Universe
Creation This Universe was birthed by Log in episode 272. In the feature, Log describes the laws that apply to the Bingo Universe, and the scenarios that occur between the characters. Laws * Numbers may not occur more than once, much like real bingo. * 0 is not a legal number, much like real bingo. * 90 is the highest number, much like real bingo. * A man may not look at a duck, much like real bingo Characters Storyline 17 A man takes a giraffe "around the block for a bit". 57 A giraffe with body dysmorphia looks into the mirror. 77 Bingo! Two giraffes. Bingo may now begin. Log advises giraffes that may have been affected by issues raised in this game of Bingo that the Kilroy Team would like to speak to them. 3 The number that looks like a bum. Audience must scream and blow raspberries to appease 3. 44 Two unfinished Dildo Chairs 14 A man, with a Dildo Chair. 69 A 6 and a 9 sucking each other off. Log informs readers that 5 is lurking nearby, disgusted. 6 On it's own and feeling vaguely hollow as the passion of 69 drains away, 6 contemplates that this meeting cannot occur again, as 96 does not exist in the Bingo Universe. 68 6 asks 8, the fat lady, what gets 9 cum off the bedspread. 8 informs 6 that she is not as homely as people suspect, but similar to the red-wine-white-wine trick, 6 cum might just work. 6 begins to masturbate. 65 5 walks in on 6, disgusted. 5 5 contemplates the lifetime of pleasures he has denied himself. 81 A fat lady and a thin man. Log accuses readers of thinking that one of the two may be punching above their weight. 18 The 1 is not a man, but one of the severed legs from Legs-11, the fat lady has eaten the man. 88 The fat lady and a snowman. The fat lady contemplates "slapping a couple of snow-tits on it" and "getting sub-zero lezzie". 12 A man looking at a duck, in direct violation of the Bingo Universe's by-laws. 21 Man continues to look at duck. Log wonders what he may be up to. 22 The man's intentions become clear, he was studying the duck in an attempt to mimicking it. The result is stunning. 2 You blinked. You do not know whether this is the duck or the man. Log informs the reader that he has a plan to find out, but cannot reveal it, as doing so may risk violating the laws of the Bingo Universe. 32 Log's plan becomes clear. The 3 is summoned to do a trump on the duck, to test its stoicism. 35 The duck is blown away by the sheer force of the trump, and the reader is left wondering on the true nature of the previous 2. 5 goes home, muttering to himself about degeneracy. 53 5 continues to walk; 3 gives apologetic trumps. 5 is revealed to be the true designer of the Dildo Chair, and is going home to finish it. 30 3 coughs up a sacred stone egg, high on a mountaintop. Aside Log takes a brief aside from Bingo, to inform the reader that he cannot describe how long the egg sat on the mountain, as 0 is an illegal Bingo number. However, he may describe the many pilgrimages that were done by members of the Bingo Village to the stone egg. 10 A man approaches the egg, informing it about his plan to eliminate the divide that separates man and duck. 20 A duck approaches the egg, quacks, waits 20 seconds, and then informs the egg that it is "too late" and that he is going to steal the egg and "fuck up bingo". However, 1 is unable to lift the egg in duck (2) form, and as 10 has already been called, may not revert back to man (1) form. The plan is foiled. 70 A giraffe and an egg. 11 Two of Log's "favourite legs" (voiced by Steve and Joe) talk about getting their hands on the egg before "the game ends and the Universe resets". A short discussion of characters 8 and 7 ensues. They formulate a plan to visit the egg together by hiding inside the Dildo Chair. 80 A fat lady and an egg. 40 A Dildo Chair and an egg. 41 One of the legs springs out of the Dildo Chair, but the sacred stone egg is gone. The fat lady informs Legs-11 that she has swapped her body for the egg, and reveals to everyone the egg's true purpose: to make Bingo infinitely long, through the use of fractions. 8 The fat lady reveals to the audience that she has eaten everyone, and she will continue to do so, again and again, because that's what Bingo is. Log performs a Bingo Universe cold-reset. An audience member calls house.Category:Universes